EPISODE 052 (252): Final Days (Final Episode)

Sadly, all good things must come to an end, and this is the end of the weekly edition of Tales from the "LiberryCAST."  (You'll have to listen to it to find out why I put weekly in italics.)  

Contained herein are some of the final entries I wrote as a "Liberry" employee, and one that I wrote afterward.  There are a number of appearances from prominent members of the Rogues Gallery as well as cameos by a few long lost "liberry" friends to boot. 

DOWNLOAD: TFT"LC" Episode 052 (252): Final Days (Final Episode)

SHOW NOTES:

• Tales from the "Liberry" blog
• Original Blog Entry: "Barbie T: Future Resident Loon?"
• Original Blog Entry: "`Liberry' Glossary: Basket Cases"
• Original Blog Entry: "Final Friday"
• Original Blog Entry: "Final Monday"
• Original Blog Entry: "Final Tuesday"
• Original Blog Entry: "Final Wednesday"
• Original Blog Entry: "Final Thursday (Final Day)"
• Original Blog Entry: "The Endy Bit (a.k.a. "Actual Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries #141")"
• Favorite Podcast of the Week:  Harmontown

BEST OF WEEK DAY 7: The Grumpiest Podcast in All the World

(Welcome to Best Of Week.   As Tales from the "LiberryCAST" rockets toward its final episode, this is my chance to have a look back at some of my favorite episodes from this podcast adaptation of favorite blog entries from Tales from the "Liberry.")

There are rogue patrons and there are Rogue Patrons and Mr. B-Natural, Grumpiest Old Man in All the World, was usually somewhere in between. Not an evil human being by any stretch, but a tremendously cranky man, except when in the presence of his beloved pooch, Bubba. Our main beef with him is that Mr. B-Natural was a guy who definitely took pleasure in annoying the bejeezus out of the library staff by blatantly breaking as many rules as he could get away with just to piss us off. To hear him tell it, a library needs patrons who break the rules, otherwise we would have no reason to have rules at all. (Which, I think, was exactly the motivation of Professor Zoom, the arch-nemesis of The Flash.) So he continually signed his name upside down on our computer sign in sheet and tried to sneak his coffee back to the computers for his daily crossword. These are but a few of his stories.

GO TO: The Mr. B-Natural Episodes

EPISODE 40 (140): Mr. B-Natural

EPISODE 034 (234): Nonactual Conversations Not Actually Heard in any Libraries #74

EPISODE 035 (235): Cranky Liquid Paper Guy (and other tales of Library Neophytes)

EPISODE 045 (245): Cross Words 

 

Mr. B Natural short...

BEST OF WEEK DAY 6: Monsieur Stanky

(Welcome to Best Of Week.   As Tales from the "LiberryCAST" rockets toward its final episode, this is my chance to have a look back at some of my favorite episodes from this podcast adaptation of favorite blog entries from Tales from the "Liberry.")

Mr. Stanky was a guy who was so eye-wateringly stinky that he defeated all comers from our air-freshener arsenal. 

We dreaded his appearance, because we knew with great certainty that at some point during his visit (and, perhaps, even after it) we would each be pummeled about the face by his horrifying odor. 

He was astoundingly stinky... except on the rare occasions when he wasn't.

GO TO: MR. STANKY EPISODES

EPISODE 16 (116): Stanky Patrons and other Dusty Turds

EPISODE 36 (136): The Ballad of Crusty the Patron

EPISODE 51 (151): Dumbass Things I've Done Week

EPISODE 031 (231): Monsieur Stanky

 

 

 

BEST OF WEEK DAY 5: Michelin Militia

(Welcome to Best Of Week.   As Tales from the "LiberryCAST" rockets toward its final episode, this is my chance to have a look back at some of my favorite episodes from this podcast adaptation of favorite blog entries from Tales from the "Liberry.")


Just when we thought we had it bad enough with frequent visits from Chester the (Potential) Molester, another seeming sicko fell into our midst. And, unlike Chester, this one actually had computer skills. He also had a habit of exclusively wearing a puffy white Michelin man winter parka in the warmth of April, so his nickname officially became Parka.

While I didn't know it at the time, he would become the MOST chronicled member of the "Liberry" Rogues Gallery by proving himself to be the MOST irritating patron we had to deal with, in a multitude of ways.


GO TO: THE PARKA EPISODES

EPISODE 18 (118): Parka Life

EPISODE 24 (124): Who's Got the 10 and a Half?

EPISODE 39 (139): And the Password Is...

EPISODE 43 (143): ParKAST 2

EPISODE 035 (235): Cranky Liquid Paper Guy (and other tales of Library Neophytes)

EPISODE 034 (234): Nonactual Conversations Not Actually Heard in any Libraries #74

Tales from the "LiberryCAST" CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: "A Christmas Carol Satan"

 

 

 

 

BEST OF WEEK DAY 4: The Crustacean Menaces!

(Welcome to Best Of Week. As Tales from the "LiberryCAST" rockets toward its final episode, this is my chance to have a look back at some of my favorite episodes from this podcast adaptation of favorite blog entries from Tales from the "Liberry.") 



In the past, I've chronicled small tales of Mr. B-Natural and Mr. Smiley, the first and second grumpiest old men in all the world respectively. However, the third grumpiest old man in all the world actually proved to be one of the more active antagonists in the history of the Tales from the "Liberry" blog. He's an honorary old white lady and for good reason; not only is he on par with the O.W.L.s in mere surliness, but he could go up against the worst of them in the Forgetting Your Library Card and Getting All Worked up About it to the Point of Leveling Threats Against the Staff 400 meter dash. One for the record books, people.

GO TO: THE MR. CRAB EPISODES
 

EPISODE 33 (133): The Crustacean Menace!

EPISODE 41 (141): Christmas Party Pack

EPISODE 038 (238): The Second Crustacean Menace

Tales from the "LiberryCAST" CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: "A Christmas Carol Satan"

 

 

 

BEST OF WEEK DAY 3: EPISODE 26 (126): D-Con Kills Nerds Dead

(Welcome to Best Of Week.   As Tales from the "LiberryCAST" rockets toward its final episode, this is my chance to have a look back at some of my favorite episodes from this podcast adaptation of favorite blog entries from Tales from the "Liberry.")


As you might have noticed, I'm an enormous nerd. Maybe not quite as nerdy as the Nerdist Podcast, but nerdy all the same. As such, I'm fond of heading out to nerd gatherings such as the infamous Dragon Con in Atlanta. In honor of this being Dragon Con weekend for 2011, I present some non-"liberry" tales of my D-Con experiences of the past decade. Included are encounters with gerbil-cleavaged sci-fi heroines; Annoying Brit Track Boy's near-death-experience at the hands of both the panel audience and the 5th Doctor Who; an awkward encounter with Biff from Back to the Future, Harlan Ellison laying verbal waste to one and all; and, as always, the guy that played Boomer in the 70s Battlestar Galactica.

DOWNLOAD: TFT"LC" Episode 26 (126): D-Con Kills Nerds Dead

SHOW NOTES:

• Tales from the "Liberry" blog
• Original Blog Entry: "D-Con Kills Nerds Dead"
• Original Blog Entry: "D-Con Report 2004"
• Original Blog Entry: Comic Cons tag

BEST OF WEEK DAY 2: The Bad Mothers Saga

(Welcome to Best Of Week.   As Tales from the "LiberryCAST" rockets toward its final episode, this is my chance to have a look back at some of my favorite episodes from this podcast adaptation of favorite blog entries from Tales from the "Liberry.")

With Mother's Day coming up this weekend, I thought it would be nice to put out this Best Of collection of episodes featuring Bad and/or Questionable Mothers.  It guest stars such notable blog foes as Bad Mom & Brood, Little Kayla, and Ms. Green.

GO TO: Episodes Featuring Bad and/or Questionable Mothers

EPISODES:

EPISODE 9 (109): Bad Mother's Day

EPISODE 22 (122): Summer Reading Blues

EPISODE 08 (208): Bad Moms 2 

EPISODE 021 (221): Annoying Greens of the Non-Horn Variety

 

BEST OF WEEK DAY 1: The Barbara Turdmurkle episodes

(Welcome to Best Of Week.   As Tales from the "LiberryCAST" rockets toward its final episode, this is my chance to have a look back at some of my favorite episodes from this podcast adaptation of favorite blog entries from Tales from the "Liberry.")

Way back in the second episode of the LiberryCAST, one of my most fearsome and worrisome rogues was introduced, the woman known as Barabara Turdmurkle. When it comes to tales of crazy patrons (and poor customer service), she's pretty much at the top of the list.  All of her episodes are favorites of mine, but pay particular attention to Actual Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries, and Nonactual Conversations Not Actually Heard in any Libraries #74, as well as the Christmas Special.  Those are where Barbie T really shines.

GO TO: The Barbie T episodes
 
EPISODES:

EPISODE 2 (102): FAX Guy Goes Nutzoid

EPISODE 022 (222): Actual Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries

EPISODE 034 (234): Nonactual Conversations Not Actually Heard in any Libraries #74 

Tales from the "LiberryCAST" CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: "A Christmas Carol Satan"

 

 

 

TFT"LC" SPECIAL: B-Sides & Rarities (Part 2) Juice & Glen Shoot the Shit

Okay, so way back in Season 1 Episode 16 of this podcast, I did an episode called Stanky Patrons and Other Dusty Turds.  In that, I introduced the concept of the woefully stinky patrons we often had to deal with at my “liberry” and it’s the first appearance of their king, Mr. Stanky.  And because the entry I was adapting in it ended with a quote about stinky patrons, originally penned by my friend and former library worker Glen B, I decided to call Glen up and have him read his own damn quote.  And afterward, we'd just shoot the shit for a while since we don't get to very often.

Of the hour and two minutes we talked, I wound up only using 27 minutes for the podcast, which was mainly where the library talk happened.  But I threatened that one day I would release the rest of it because it too was good stuff.  Today is that day.

If you've already heard Episode 16, the first 27 minutes will seem awfully familiar (though with a few DVD extra changes from the original aired version, such as the first draft of my awkward and line-flubby reading of the entry).  The rest has only been lightly edited.   If you haven't heard Episode 16, don't bother going back for it cause it's all contained herein.

DOWNLOAD: TFT"LC" SPECIAL: B-Sides & Rarities, Part 2: Juice & Glen Shoot the Shit

SHOW NOTES:

• Tales from the "Liberry" blog
• Original Podcast: Blog Entry:  "EPISODE 16 (116): Stanky Patrons and Other Dusty Turds"
• Original Blog Entry:  "Stanky Patrons"

TFT"LC" SPECIAL: B-Sides & Rarities, Part 1

Over the two years that I've been adapting entries from the Tales from the "Liberry" blog, there have been occasions when I've recorded entries for an episode and then removed them during editing.  Sometimes this was for purposes of keeping an episode below a certain length; sometimes because another entry in the same episode made basically the same point; sometimes because the entry just wasn't funny or satisfying to begin with; and sometimes because the sound quality of the recorded file turned out to be abominable.  Most of the time, I deleted those lost files.  But once in a while, I saved them for a rainy day, thinking I might one day need a B-Sides episode I could quickly throw together in case I needed a week off.  (Unlike last week, which I just took off with no substitutions.)

This week's special episode presents a few of those saved entries, warts and all.  Interspersed between them, however, are a few tales featuring a member of the "Liberry" Rogues Gallery who somehow never really made it into an episode of the podcast.  Which is a tragedy, because he was the very first Rogue Patron I ever mentioned in the blog itself.  And then there's the matter of his secret identity.

DOWNLOAD: TFT"LC" SPECIAL: B-Sides & Rarities, Part 1

SHOW NOTES:

• Tales from the "Liberry" blog
• Original Blog Entry: "Good Omens"
• Original Blog Entry: "Peeved"
• Original Blog Entry: "Boy, someone needs a nap"
• Original Blog Entry: "Weird Wednesday"
• Original Blog Entry: "Actual Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries #67"
• Original Blog Entry: "Ron the Mudder"
• Original Blog Entry: "The Law"
• Original Blog Entry: "Ripping Yarns"
• Original Blog Entry: "Loud Nedd: The Obnoxious Drifter Who Talks in ALL CAPS"
• Original Blog Entry: "The Secret Identity of Ron the Ripper"
• Original Blog Entry: "Posted Comments from the Bizarro Universe" (READ IT IN THE COMMENTS)